Sorry to everyone following.. we have not been good about posting. between the very slow and spotty internet, and our overwhelming amount of things going on in the day and night, we are often unable to post or too tired to get to it…
(as is the case now, so I apologize for our briefness)
Today we went to a Children’s Hospital in the area. And this was by far the hardest things we have done thus far. The condition of the building would make it condemned in an instant in the US. everything is broken down, decayed, dirty, and old. While they do the best they can to make it clean, there is no way that place is sterile. The rooms are incredibly small, fitting between 4-6 beds/cribs in each room. Each is up against one another and most block the door from being opened or closed all the way. Its absurd.
we visited 2 wards, the “high cost” ward which was apparently the nicest/most expensive part of the hospital, followed by a low cost area. And it was just so sad. We went with a group of young adults and youth from Remmy’s church to bring them toys and fruits, and I was fine, until I was asked to pray in one of the rooms. Each room we visited we would all pile in and give out what we brought and then pray. I prayed in the high cost area once, in one of the less cramped rooms, where kids about to be released were staying. However, the next time I was asked, I made the mistake of opening my eyes during the prayer and looking me straight through the heart was this child who had some sort of deformation or tumor overtaking his head. I couldn’t even tell how old he was because the rest of his body was so thin and malnourished, so I suppose it was a tumor taking all the nutrients from his body… I am not certain. But I would guess he was between 2-3 years old and his head was at least 3 times the normal size. His poor little face was being squished by the mass engulfing the top and back of his head. And I am trying to pray for healing and health and restoration, and I open my eyes and see this child staring right at me… who obviously has very very little chance of survival, and I just lost all ability to say anything worth saying. How could I stand there and say these are God’s children who will be protected and healed in his name, when it was clear that this was not possible in this life? God it broke my heart. I was speechless mid prayer and had to manage to mumble something else out and close the prayer because I was in a room of about 20 people and 5 beds crammed into a space no more than 10 feet wide. I kept it together until when we were exiting the room Sarah looked back at me with tears in her eyes and that was when I couldn’t hold it anymore.
I hate that I will never see those kids again, and that it couldn’t have been more than just a few moments of interaction. But I am helpless. What can I do? I am not studying to be a medical professional, i don’t have access to funds to change the situation or status of that hospital or the people in it… all I had was lollipops, crayons and a couple balloons and prayer.
Ah. this was so challenging. I’ve had a hard time the rest of this day feeling myself. But its only 4:30pm here and were responsible for dinner tonight.. so pray that we can move past this emotionally, spiritually and physically draining morning and early afternoon. And pray for those mothers. Each and everyone was by the bedside of their child.. I pray for their continued need of strength, and spirit to help get their children and themselves through this difficult time of life.